Left Outside Alone

April 15, 2023   /   byRezod  / Categories :  Posts

The last four years have been intense. Long story short, I got into drugs heavy; jumped out of a 60 mph moving car then off a bridge; was approached by the chief narcotics officer for selling Xanax, meth and fentanyl from the dark web; had my life threatened multiple times; framed for murder and dealt with a swat team. I’m not going to elaborate on the specifics because we’re all older now and needn’t glorify another drug story. The point of all this is that my life reached a melting point where there was nothing left to do but change. The fear of living the way I was living became greater than the fear of change. So I went to rehab in January. Now I’m technically 81 days completely sober out of my mind. Yeah I can talk about the struggles of sobriety and the “unique” road it took me to get here, but, again, we’re older now and it’s long overdue that we grew the fuck up. However, when it comes to women, I absolutely will not!

Do you know what it feels like to be left outside alone? In the cold with nobody? Yeah most of those close to me don’t (*cough* oatis, Doug */cough). These guys are stuck in a fantasy without meaning. They wouldn’t know what to do with themselves without being dependent on a relationship. Nothing wrong with getting into a relationship to supplement your life (if it’s a choice rather than a need). But to stake your entire emotional livelihood and stability on it shows these simps are the true culprits that need to grow up. They live in a fairytale that has already shown its cracks which they choose to conveniently ignore, fearing their worse possible outcome of BEING ALONE. Quit avoiding the truth of existence; the motion of particles; the electron: the God particle; that your essentially alone; that your going to die alone. Everything else that tells you that you are somebody is a mirage. Being a person is sheer illusion. Using other people to feel secure in your identity is a crutch. Relationships are a fairytale. Take the black pill. Earn your solitude and see the beauty in being alone.

I, personally, haven’t glorified much of my sex life on here these last few years. My conquests have been lacking.. probably because, as I said before, I’m older now. Frankly, I’ve only slept with four girls the last three years. It’s just not a priority (drugs were lols). I’ve taken the black pill years ago and have adopted the sigma mentality naturally. I didn’t even know what sigma meant until somebody called me sigma 5 years ago in a YouTube video I posted. In fact I’ve always had that mindset, but now it’s more focused after its identification. No longer am I spinning plates, but rather toned it down to spinning tea cups. If women aren’t a priority anymore, and if drugs are now out of the equation, wouldn’t I predictably revert to women? Sort of, but I stopped myself. I continue to take my black pills and press the Sigma brakes before I make a left on Worship Women Boulevard. For example, I went out with a sweet broad last month. I made her drive and pick me up. When I met her I felt like the rug was pulled up from under me all because she did not look like her pictures. She presented herself with only her good pictures from angles. She went from a 6/10 to a 3. I ghosted her after that date AND NEVER slept with her. A sigma doesn’t care about getting laid. I’m already fulfilled. This happened again with an 8/10 (really a 5/10) a week later. So what do I do? I quit meeting girls from the internet unless right off the bat we video chat. I don’t even have high standards, but there’s nothing but ugly/old chicks in my area. So what would the sigma move be? Just do me. It’ll come I thought two weeks ago. I’m absolutely shredded right now. It’s like who cares. Then what happens today at the gym? This girl starts talking to me. Then the hottest blonde girl at this gym sees this conversation ├ánd works out right next to me. I move 20 feet to do something else and she follows me; and a third time. So I’m thinking this is no damn coincidence. Then she puts her phone down on my seat and looks in the mirror and starts dancing and I’m thinking “yup time to pull the trigger on this broad MAN UP”. Instead I pulled a sigma maneuver and handed back her phone, did one more set, walked over to the 8/10 first girl and had her text me so I can save her number. Let the 9.5/10 narcissistic super model Blondie stew ’til I see her again tomorrow. Keep drawing this life from the position of abundance rather than from the pussy simp-stain of scarcity. And the only way to do that is to ground yourself in the nothingness of cosmic reality. Everybody on this planet is so desperate to kill the ache of being alone they have lost their damn minds. Logic has gone out the window. You’re all in a fairytale without meaning. Because there is no meaning in a meaningless existence. The world doesn’t care if you die. You’re nobody. I’m nobody. As soon as you start to be somebody is when you lose your freedom from the truth. If you’re okay with that stay in your relationship. I rather be outside in the cold knowing I’m nobody with a sigma understanding of TRUTH.