She works in the medical field. Her gym schedule has little pattern to it, but we end up always seeing each other. She’s either stalking me or its just coincidence. Whatever the case may be, I’ve known of her for quite some time now.

No one talks to her at the gym. Dudes are scared and at a loss for words.

This generation of men are paralyzed by women. They want to fuck women under their breath but at the same time they get nervous. We don’t want to “offend” and say the wrong thing. We intend to prove we’re different than other men; so we basically end up not bothering them as a way to not cause them any discomfort and even go to great lengths to avoid them under this pathetic, convoluted line of thinking. In the process we end up being “nice guys” who appear nice at first. From there we either get into the nice guy shuffle where no one notices us, or if we get further we ultimately end up dissatisfied as a man and disgruntled towards women, which starts to show in our interactions with them via spurts of passive anger. Women just don’t see you as somebody they want more from if you’re a nice guy.

^That right there is totally not me! It’s probably you, but not me. The point was that this is how guy/chick milieu is structured in 2014, meaning I got this Nicole chick in the bag if I want it because nobody has the initiative to assert their desire.

I’ve already had brief exchanges of words with her, but not anything in-depth or of real value. My ex is honestly holding me back. A part of me needs her back. Before I can go all-in strong with Nicole and risk the rejection of my life, I need closure with my ex. But if or when that time cums, this Nicole broad is the one without doubt. Not only does she have a great ass, but her personality vibrates this gentle, sweet glow.

The first time she spoke to me six months ago she asked if I was using a machine that was 10 FEET AWAY. This time it’s not a question whether I’m paranoid she likes me or not. It’s crystal clear. Today I was in the back doing light deadlifts trying to lift the remaining flu out of my system. 2 minutes after I get over there it’s like she honed in on me with a new year urgency. She charged up in my space. We wave hi to one another. I tell her if I’m in your way doing deadlifts, maybe a little too close to you let me know. She was like “oh no no no you are fine.” In hindsight I realized I was being overly nice, which is exactly the recipe for sabotage. Nonetheless I just didnt have the “daniel bryant” spirit in me today. I still miss my kid’s mom. However, hypothetically if I didn’t, then this Nicole girl is THE GIRL. If I went at her now, it’ll take off but she’ll end up being that rebound girl. It’s a losing situation for me right now.

Don’t get me wrong, it felt quite validating she charged on over here squatting right in front of my face. I can imagine her sitting raw on my organic face for an uninterrupted hour one day, just gazing at the stars. It’s a shame. She must really think something’s wrong with me for not engaging her strongly. She use to follow me around a lot more but she gave up trying so hard after she’s seen me come in with both exes at one time or another. Though I think she thinks I’m single again because I come in alone and give off a depressing vibe.

I’m really on the verge of pursuing her, but not quite yet. If I did it now it would be halfhearted and it would take off under false pretenses. It’s not like I haven’t been at this crossroads before. Not much to think about here. Do I open up the can of unknown worms with Nicole and risk major disappointment/rejection or do I give the ex a longer benefit of the doubt out of sheer love? Truth is you can’t juggle both and come off genuine and true in your behaviors/outward demeanor. You sacrifice your performance with the extra juggling, quite possibly losing both women and maybe even a little of yourself in the process.