I met this broad about 3 weeks ago while at the German bar with my dad. We were sitting at the outside bar mugging a couple 32 oz beers. She comes outside to smoke a cigarette, listening in on our intellectual conversation. Half way into her puffing we switch to football talk. So she wonders “you guys into football huh?” We brush the college football surface then chitchat about the patriots, which she’s a fan of. After she’s done with her smoke she goes back inside to her table. I nudge my dad “that’s for you bro.” My dad warns me that my girlfriend working inside saw us talking to that broad. Ten minutes later this broad walks with her friend and her friend’s husband towards the outside bar exit. Lo and behold she hands me a piece of paper and tells me to call her!

I text her that very night, before during and after fucking my girlfriend. For the next 2 weeks we keep in mild touch. We plan to go out but she flakes on me. Last week I man and actually call her. The low down on this broad is that she works in a doctor’s office. She’s 50 years old. Has 3 kids- a boy 17 and another with a beard in college. A beautiful 25 year old daughter that would make you spontaneously cream your pants just by looking at her.

So I make plans with her for the weekend. I never really liked my current girlfriend so I broke up with her because she’s a sexting whore and she likes to piss my bed every night because she can’t hold down her wine. She’s not worth the scrubbing and spraying I have to do every morning. So last night we finally hang out.

Before her 30 minute drive she calls me up asking if she should bring beer. I tell her sure. She arrives at 630 in a luxury minivan. I put the samuel adams in the fridge then pop a smoke outside. I’m already on the fourth glass of wine. I tell her I love her knee high boots. And to be honest with my internet peeps, she’s looking fine as fuck. I just want to whip off her clothes and fuck the preschool into her.

First, we hit up my main bar. Nowhere to sit but at the main bar. I know everyone working and they’re nonchalant about the fact that I have a new girl this week. All the old dudes are looking at me, clearly jealous. She sips on a beer (hopefully my cock later) and I sip on a whiskey ginger ale. We have conversation then go home after 3 drinks.

I’m going to town on this babe. Missionary style with no condom. I couldn’t cum because I had major whiskey dick. We then head out to gatorz a block away from my house. Bar tender bitch wouldn’t accept my military ID claiming that she needed a drivers license or state ID. So I’m like fuck this bitch. She probably don’t want to serve us because the place is dead and she’s trying to close.

So we hit up chubbyz across the street. I’m already fucked up. I say hi to my buddies there with no shame in my game. She orders 50 wings. We get the wings and I eat some then pass a few around the bar. The manager there told her that “he’s a nice guy but he’s really drunk. The rest of the night is a blur. She tells me we get back to my crib (no pun intended) and finish the bottle of wine and then pass the fuck out. She watches saturday night live and joins me shortly after.

I wake up at about 7am and try to fuck her again. I’m hungover and can’t get hard lol. I wake her up and she asks me if I have a coffee maker. I tell her my mom leaves it in the cabinet. We end up drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, and making conversation for the next 2 hours. She kisses me goodbye, we hug, then she goes home. She wants me go to her pad next week!

I’ve had a lot of pussies in my life, even 2 pussies at once. But this was out-fucking-standing!

Doing granny and liking it!