Primo pussy can really change a man’s life. I got that pep in my step today; not to mention fueled by only 3 hours of sleep yet wholly revitalized. I went from a year long cesspool of feeling sorry for myself to a sudden implosion of happy lotus flower joy- and this happened over night. I’ve been so wrapped up in my misery I lowered myself to bottom-shelf pussy, thinking it’d make me feel better. However, the remedy to my woes hardly had anything to do with pussy at all. Pussy, just like binge eating, was a mere side effect of my inner turmoil. When you finally eat a salad after months of processed food, you snap out of it. It wasn’t the top-shelf pussy per se that pulled me out of this year-long rut, rather the necessary reality check. Just like after munching on a scrumptious salad laced with seafood mix, you feel better about yourself. Then from there the top-shelf pussy expanded my thought process, opened up new avenues of worldly perspective, snapping me out of these self-destructive ruminations that only served to worsen my depression. This entire year I was so caught up chasing pussy, crossing my fingers hoping it would cure me, that I didn’t even notice I had settled for bottom-shelf.

I’m definitely the type to brag, so let me tell you what transpired last night. This sexy, cute wifey type came over. I liked her from the start since we built 2 weeks of rapport via Internet. I was feeling festive after the tan I got, so we hit up the bar. Long story short, this girl didn’t act like the typical white girl. She was infatuated with me, but shyly nervous, treating me like a king as if she were a foreign bride. White girls with today’s media just don’t have it in their toolset to treat great men right. The typical white girl is self-absorbed and ungrateful. However, last night I was in for a treat; not only was I worshipped and appreciated by a white girl for being a great dude, the sex was the most passionate in years. I didn’t have to tell her to suck my dick; she wanted to suck it and fuck the life out of me. You can’t even get that from desperate bottom-shelfers. This broad was motivated which inspired my motivation. She hasn’t gotten dick in 8 months. Everything clicked. We connected initially on the phone, and then I waited 2 weeks for that volcanic pussy juice to build up inside her. Then she made that choice to let me be that special guy to take the brunt of her eruption.

I’m not saying I’m in love here- I’m too old for that shit. But we were beautifully wired together and fired together that it finally snapped me back to reality on what life is about. Let me let you poor internet nerds in on a little secret here: life sure isn’t about video games and jerking off to Tomb Raider. Life’s about doing what the fuck you want. Not being tied down or unnecessarily pressured because you’re in a weak position. Like John Goodman said in The Gambler, to paraphrase, life is about vectoring yourself from the “The Position of Fuck You.” You get up 2 and a half million dollars any asshole knows what to do: you get a house with a 25 year roof, an indestructible jap-economy shitbox, you put the rest into the system at 3 to 5 percent to pay your taxes; that’s your base. That’s your fuckin fortress of solitude. That puts you for the rest of your life at a level of Fuck You. No more pretending. Get what you want. Do you. Somebody wants you to do something? FUCK YOU. Your boss giving you a hard time? FUCK YOU. That’s the level I plan to be at. So take notes, children, because that is what life is about.

Really makes me wonder how badly I fell off the wagon, resorting to not only chasing pussy, but to settling for the bottom shelf all because I had limited options and couldn’t do better. Last night I was validated by greatness. Looking back at this year: the fuck, dewd. I’ve now seen a sliver of hope, a pathway out of this quagmire- and that’s from a position of Fuck You.

Cheers.

(After telling her we oughta cuddle and watch a movie next time)

(Yeah exactly. Not many American women got the greatness like this!)